The world and people are tough to deal with today! We all might have heard that. People will play with you, disappoint you, people will hurt you because life will not always be fair to you. To survive this, we think often that we should become hard too. Somewhere along the way we’ve thought this and even started believing it, right? And one day, the time comes when we start building walls with people. We stop trusting them, we start acting rude with them and so on. It’s like we learn to expect less, feel less, and speak less with people. I used to believe that being strong is simple! You just have to be emotionally unaffected, unavailable and create a distance with people.
Sometimes we think that if we start acting rude to people and start ignoring them, we will become strong. But no, this is not the right way to become strong. Remaining a soft-hearted person in this harsh world is the real strength. In this article, I’m going to share how I learned to stay kind and soft in a harsh world.
1- How people is behaving- is their reflection, Not yours.
This is one of the biggest lesson I’ve learned. The way you are being treated by people often reflects their morals and personality. You might have heard somewhere that if you want to know about a person’s morals, see how they behave with guards or servants. How they treat small people. The way they treat them is reflection of their true personality.
It’s easy to question yourself, when someone disrespects you but think about it – their harshness is not mirror of your value.. This realization helped me stop taking things personally. I learned to observe people’s behavior without absorbing it.
2- Set your boundaries instead of losing kindness.
Losing kindness is the weakness but setting boundaries is a sign of boldness. I used to think earlier that being kind means forgive everyone and tolerating everything. I allowed people to cross the limits because I didn’t want to seem rude in return. But it’s after effects only left me with exhaustion and mental drainage.
Setting boundaries with kindness can work together. You can be gentle and still say no. You can be polite and still walk away. You can care about someone and still choose distance for your peace. Think of it like this: Boundaries are filters not wall. They protect you and your energy . Setting boundaries protects you so your softness doesn’t get misused by people.
3- Never let pain change your nature.
It’s the biggest mistake most of us do to deal with people, we start acting like them!. We do this because we think that the easiest response and shortcut to deal with to such people is to become cold and rude.
No! Never, Its Not!
Ask yourself a question- Do you want to become like the person who hurts you?
Obviously, No , Right? So instead of letting pain makes you bitter like them, allow yourself to understand this in a better way.
4- I learned that forgiveness is for my peace , not theirs.
I used to think earlier that why should I forgive someone who never apologizes? It is impossible, They hurt me to death and they didn’t ever acknowledge the damage?
But I realized lately, that holding onto anger was hurting me more than them. Why should i hold feelings for them when they don’t even care?
Basically, forgiveness does not mean that you should accept the bad behavior from other. It’s just setting yourself free from carrying the weight of resentment. So , when i started forgiving other, I acknowledged that I’m doing this for my peace only, not for them. This activity allows me to care about my mind, heart and peace.
5- Believe that softness is a strenght, not a flaw.
People tend to admire and praise the loud ones, the ones who dominate a room, speak over others, or come across as tough. For a long time, I thought that’s what strength was supposed to look like. But I’ve started to see it differently. There’s a different kind of strength in staying calm when everything around you feels messy. In choosing not to snap back when someone is rude. In still caring, even when it would be easier to shut down and not feel anything at all.
Being gentle doesn’t mean you’re unaware or easily fooled. If anything, it means you understand emotions, yours and others’, well enough to not let them control you.
I used to wonder if I needed to toughen up, to be less “soft” to survive. Now I think I had it backwards.
That softness isn’t a weakness. It’s something rare. And instead of trying to get rid of it, I’m learning to hold onto it.
